Dis moi ton pays, je te dirai qui tu es

Vous vous demandez comment stigmatiser ces différences évidentes qui rendent l'identité nationale si pugnace dans un monde pourtant en marche vers la globalisation? Voici nos économies ré-expliquées par l'histoire bucolique d'un business de chèvres fort sympathique. Enjoy ! 

SOCIALISM
You have 2 goats.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two goats.
You sell one and buy a kid.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four goats.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the goat has dropped dead.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary goat
and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Goatkimon' and market it worldwide.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, because you
want three goats

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You count them and learn you have five goats.
You count them again and learn you have 42 goats.
You count them again and learn you have 2 goats.
You stop counting goats and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 goats. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high caprine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two goats.
Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
The one on the left looks very attractive